This one goes out to the gang on Sullivanweather and Blizzard92's blogs.
With the holiday season having come and gone -- we're now in the official dead of winter. Tax season is coming, possibly another stimulus (good, bad, or indifferent as it may be), and aside from Valentine's Day and St Patrick's Day (if you're irish) -- there's not all that much going on to rip money out of your pockets and place it into a large kettle in some basement.
This leads to many a person feeling depression.
True Story: We Americans love spending money. Even if we have nothing to spend it on.
It is my distinct pleasure - to announce that this blog, is now a Not for (your) Profit Charity. This blog is now officially known, as the Snow4Palmyra foundation.
"But Punisher, it's June 13th -- 105 degrees outside, and the humidity is giving me an asthma attack..."
ALL THE MORE REASON TO GIVE ME SNOW!!!
You're hot -- it's hotter than friggin hell out there. A cold beer isn't going to do anything but further dehydrate you. You'd go swimming, but you hate horseflies. You'd go to the lake - but you're single, and that's just a bit gay. You'd sit in the air conditioning and read a book or watch tv -- but you're too damn cheap to actually buy freon. What are you going to do?
GIVE ME SNOW!!!!
You see, it works like this: I sit here... and do nothing. Trust me, it's not that hard. This enables all the crap I should be doing to just pile up, and accumulate all around me. Much like snow in the winter time (except for the past 3 of them). At first it's pretty to look at -- it's quiet, kids have fun playing in it, and it makes you think about maple syrup. Then the automobiles come -- and their smoking habits (baaaaaaad!) make the snow look like crap, and make the entire environment look like the top of a volcano. Now you want to get rid of this, trust me -- we all do. Only problem is... it'll never get above 10 degrees ever again.
Pop Quiz, Hot Shot: There's 9 feet of snow on the ground -- it looks like bigfoot's ass. The sun died 3 months ago, it'll never melt. What do you do?
GIVE ME SNOW!!!!
All you have to do, is simply just surrender all of your hardly earned monies. If you have that much difficulty seeing this happen -- just give me your name, and address, I'll be around in an hour with a baseball bat. If that doesn't work - go buy yourself a f*(king sham-wow, I own that crap, money goes to me anyway. This will allow me to purchase my own snow maker.
It'll be so pretty and red. I'll name it "sparkles"
it'll be the greatest investment you ever regret making...
(more to come later. after i research "ponzi schemes". toodles!)